JOKES & MISC.

Illustration from The Dancer's Flesh and the Servants of Satan, published by Al Gomhuriya

Kathy from KC, (thanks Kathy W.!) sent me this cartoon awhile ago. It is my favorite. I think everyone can appreciate it whether they are a bellydancer or not.

A Funny and Cute Comment by one of my Student's/Troupe Member's s Mom upon hearing she is to start learning the "sword dance"

Mom: "It sounds as if you are busy with the dancing. In the sword dance one has to put the sword down in the mouth. all I can say is be careful when you do it. "

10. Do you get a flat, or fat, stomach from bellydancing?
9. Is that sword sharp?
8. Don't flirt with my husband when you dance.
7. But you have an Italian name - not Arab!
6. Do you take your top off?
5. You STUDIED to be a belly dancer?
4. Why don't your friends perform with you at parties?
3. But you're not obese!
2. Bellydancing is the same thing as stripping.

And last, but definitely not least, (drum roll please)

1. DOESN'T YOUR HUSBAND MIND?????

As we all know, us artist types LOVE to get up in front of a crowd and perform. While everyone knows how to act and what to expect when they go see a band, go to the ballet, opera, the movie theatres, etc., not too many people know what to do when they see a bellydancer. So, in the hopes of enlightening my audiences, past, present, and future, PLEASE click here to learn how to be an APPRECIATIVE AUDIENCE MEMBER. The bellydancer will greatly appreciate.

Misconception #1:
1. Bellydancers are all "loose" women.
    Fact: Bellydancers are mothers, wives, sisters, aunts. We come from all walks of life. Most of the bellydancers I know have been married a number of years, have children, or are in long-term committed relationships. We ALL take our art seriously.

Misconception #2:
2. They are all really strippers.
    Fact: No, we are NOT strippers. No, we will NOT strip for "extra money". (So, please save everyone the embarrassment by not asking). Would you ask a ballerina to strip for you! So, please do not ask a bellydancer. Let us not forget the obvious, "Strippers take off their clothes, Bellydancers DO NOT!!" Dance is a celebration of life, bellydancing is an art celebrating life and womens power to bring life into this world and sustain it. (NOTE: the previous is a *THEORY , ONE OF MANY MANY THEORIES surrounding the origins of bellydancing. No one really knows for sure, and if they do, please share the scholarly evidence with us, because we would all LOVE to know!)   Please respect bellydancing as such. Thank you. (*I found some great research on the web, click here to find out!)

Misconception #3:
3. We are not deserving of other performers (musicians & dancers) respect.
Fact: We certainly deserve the respect of other performing artists, musicians and other dance forms. Bellydancing is an art form just the same as an oud, cello, guitar or piano player. It is also a dance art form just as ballet or modern dance is, and I would like to see it accepted as such. So, please treat your fellow artist with a little respect and consideration, instead of a "high and mighty" attitude. Bellydancers certainly respect and support musicians and other dancers, to reciprocate would be the classy thing to do.
(I will add more misconceptions in the future)

In Honor of My Beloved Hometown:
DAVID LETTERMAN
Top 10 Reasons New York is the Greatest City in the World

10. On every block, quaint local stores like Blockbuster & Starbucks
9. Parking spaces? We've got almost 20 of them
8. Muggers now accept E-Z Pass
7. There's no Frank Sinatra song Milwaukee, Milwaukee
6. Not uncommon to see a pigeon give someone the finger
5. The city never sleeps, which could explain the crankiness
4. On the sidewalks: free gum!
3. Where else can you punch a World Series-winning pitcher?
2. A dozen rats per person is not just a statistic, it's a promise
1. It's the home of America's favorite talk show host: Regis Philbin

I am a New Yorker
I do not live in the five boroughs or on the Island
or Upstate
I may live hundreds or thousands of miles away
Or I may live just over the GW Bridge
But I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
Whatever took me out of New York:
Business, family or hating the cold
did not take New York out of me.
My accent may have faded and my pace may have slowed
But I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
I was raised on Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and Rockefeller Plaza,
The Yankees or the Mets (Giants or Dodgers) Jones Beach or Rye Beach or
one of the beaches on the sound (Orchard Beach)
I know that "THE END" means Montauk.
Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
When I go on vacation, I never look up
Skyscrapers are something I take for granted
The Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty
are part of me
Taxis and noise and subways and "get outa heah"
don't rattle me
Because I am a New Yorker

I am a New Yorker
I was raised on cultural diversity before it was politically correct
I eat Greek food and Italian food, Jewish and Middle Eastern food and Chinese
food
Because they are all American food to me.
I don't get mad when people speak other languages in
my presence
Because my relatives got to this country via Ellis
Island and chose to stay
They were New Yorkers

I am a New Yorker
People who have never been to New York have
misunderstood me
My friends and family work in the industries,
professions and businesses that
benefit all Americansl
My firefighters died trying to save New Yorkers and non-New Yorkers
They died trying to save Americans and non-Americans
Because they were New Yorkers.

I am a New Yorker
I feel the pain of my fellow New Yorkers
I mourn the loss of my beautiful city
I feel and dread that New York will never be the same

But then I remember:
I am a New Yorker
And New Yorkers have:
Tenacity, strength and courage way above the norm
Compassion and caring for our fellow citizens
Love and pride in our city, in our state, in our country
Intelligence, experience and education par excellence
Ability, dedication and energy above and beyond
Faith-no matter what religion we practice
Terrorists hit America in its heart
But America's heart still beats strong
Demolish the steel in our buildings,
but it doesn't touch the steel in our souls
Hit us in the pocketbook;
but we'll parlay what we have left into a fortune
End innocent lives leaving widows and orphans,
but we'll take care of them
Because they are New Yorkers

Wherever we live, whatever we do, whoever we are
There are New Yorkers in every state and every city of this nation
We will not abandon our city
We will not abandon our brothers and sisters
We will not abandon the beauty, creativity and diversity that New York
represents
Because we are New Yorkers

And we are proud to be New Yorkers

(anonymous)

This is not strictly a bellydancing item, BUT This is a useful meditation for us parents when we are trying to get ready for a gig and the kids are NUTS!

They sing, they shout, they belly laugh, they fight, they bang things together, they bounce things, they cry, they scream, they make lots of noise. They play loud.

Bless my healthy children. Give me new ears, ears that hear the music of their noise.

Give me new understanding, understanding that doesn't crush their spirits with my intolerance and oversensitivity.

Give me a new Peace, a Peace that is grateful for the sounds created by healthy children.

My old friend Greenie from New York e-mailed me "Resignation." I think we all can feel that way some days! I hope you enjoy reading it.

RESIGNATION

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.

I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.

I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.

I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.

I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care.

All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.

I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.

I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.

I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination,
mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So . . . here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.

And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........
Tag, you're it!

Pass this to someone and brighten their day by helping them remember the Simple things in Life.

I would like to thank everyone who sent in a poem. They are all lovely. Please enjoy!

This beautiful poem was submitted and written by Beverly Anisa of Denver, Colorado. The Hollywood Gold she refers to is the "sweat" that makes up the "gold", attributing the hard, physical work that most people don't recognize in artists, ESPECIALLY dancers. Enjoy!

Sipping galiano to
the Hollywood Gold
I've donned my best chiffon this night to
match the star I hold.

Endless beads are dripping from
the stagelights to the floor
Makeup streaking down my face as
the music starts to soar.

I see a captive audience
blinded to the core
Clearly they have had enough
And still they yell for more.

I've written many images on
that stage so full of song.
Expended many energies on
nights sometimes too long.

But I've lived one of the wonders
a girl dreams about.
And sipped a taste of Hollywood
the Gold can't shine without.

To dance, is to free your soul,
To use your body, entire and whole.
Whatever prison your life is in,
However troubled your heart has been,
Move to the music, just let yourself go,
the rhythm is life, thats all you should know.

Roz

Roz from the UK wrote this poem for the Dancer Maureen O'Farrell who now lives happliy in Luxor with an Egyptian husband